Worth it

I think it's worth the mess.  My husband even admitted that if he were at home, it would probably stress him out.  But since he's not, it doesn't bother him at all.  So, let the creative ideas flow - and hopefully we will all have the energy and strength to keep trying. 

A Mess

I know that I have a quote just off to the right that talks about the importance of messes in creativity.  And I try to think about that quote throughout the day.  In my mind, I believe that it's right.  In my practice, I am annoyed by it.  Today while I was going to put Timo down for a nap I gave Seth a new tub of beans and popcorn that we just put together yesterday for him to work with.  He really loves it.  The rules are that you keep the beans and the corn in the tub.  And as we all know, three year olds are very adept at following the rules.  So, I TRY to do something different than usual - which is usually if I am going to be gone for a spell putting Timo to bed, I let him watch a video.  But I've always had mixed feeling about that.  So, this was my new inspiration.  Beans and corn.  Here's what happened.  I came out one time to check on him and couldn't find him anywhere.  I finally opened up the tub of beans and corn (an old cooler, not airtight, I might add) and found him in there, happily.  When I came out about twenty minutes later I found him naked in the beans and corn with (pardon me) beans and corn stuck in his butt and half of the raw materials on the carpet.  At this point, Timo had decided he wasn't sleeping today and came out with me greeting the mess with utter glee.  He squealed as he started throwing the grains and beans all over the room.  Seth had originally thought this was obviously over the top, but with this brother doing it, hey, why not?  At which point I remembered my quote with blood pulsing in my ears and thought, "this is why normal people put videos on."  People have given me much advice about activities for Seth while I am away, and let me tell you that so far nothing has worked.  I've given him special quiet toys, stickers, books, crayons, - and ultimately it occupies him for about 10 minutes.  Unfortunately, Timo is not even relaxed by then.  So, what do I do?  Continue living with elaborate messes the likes of which have the potential to horrify even my husband?  Or clean it all up with TV?  It's so much easier when the mess is in a boxed screen that you can switch on and off at a moments notice, and not actually spilling under all of your furniture.  

I Hate Chores

There are a few chores that I really hate and one of them is folding laundry.  It just seems like there is too much laundry to fold and not enough time.  Not to mention that by the time you get the clothes through the washer and the dryer it seems like your job should be over.  And so I throw all the clean laundry on the guest bed and call it good.  Here's the problem:  people can only handle wearing different socks once in a while, and if you are Seth, not at all.  So this means 5-10 minutes of rummaging through a huge pile of laundry to find matching socks every day.  Not to mention that I don't even bother opening their drawers when it's time to get dressed in the morning. No, I just say, let's go into the guestroom and find some clothes for you.  And just imagine what that first load of laundry sitting at the bottom of this mountain is starting to look like - raw silk.  Soooooooo, this means that every time Doug wants to get his clothes ready for work he tosses them into the dryer for a few minutes to eliminate the wrinkles.  Yeah, I never said we were energy efficient.  It makes me wonder why we bothered dragging these huge wooden chests with drawers that could fly open if you tilted them into our house.  Might it have been better to just make a big pit in one of the rooms and throw a few Asian changing shades around the corners?  Because essentially that is how we are functioning these days, minus the changing shades. 

Christmas Already!

I spent a lot of today working on the Christmas Eve service for our church.  I'm pretty excited about it.  It's a family interactive service with stations displaying different parts of Scripture. There's going to be movement and props.  Ultimately I'm hoping that it works with the kids.  That's the real test, isn't it?  But I do really love that I can almost do whatever I want in my job.  Not many people can say that.  And not many people are in a situation where the response most often is, "let's try it."  How healing this has been for me.  I'm not saying it's perfect.  But for me, it's what I needed.  More and more I'm learning what everyone else already (probably) knew about me and that is that I need space to try my own ideas, to create, and to see if anything that I bring to the table is worth being part of the meal.  For my first few years of ministry (even before ordination) I felt so restricted.  Now I feel like I am tasting freedom again.  The thing is, that it is WAY better than feeling reigned in.  I don't know that I could ever go back.  At least, for now. 

Today

Today someone told me that I am starting to look pregnant.  Here we go again.  Today Timothy brought Doug's underwear into the living room and left them there.  I didn't even notice, really.  Today I fell asleep for about 5 minutes during the Knights of Sir Fixalot.  Today Timo built Noah's ark and Seth grated the cheese for dinner.  Today I put sweet potatoes in the bean and cheese burritos and it was really good, although Seth only ate three bites.  Today it was really cold and we made a fire.  And today I am going to watch the Office and try to read a little bit more of my new book, Jean Vanier Essential Writings, an edition of the Modern Spiritual Masters Series.  

Man, it's been a long time.

OK, so lately I've been totally struggling to blog about anything.  Life feels so full sometimes I don't even have the capacity to reflect on it.  But today I got thrown up on twice, so I thought that was worth some sort of note.  Once when Seth consumed an unknown amount of detergent and started throwing up violently.  And after that long incident, which included calling 911 - because he was having such a strong reaction which I have never seen before - Timo choked on a chip at dinner and threw up on me again.  I wish I could just go drink a glass of wine but since I'm with-child, that's not going to happen.  So I think I will just stare at the TV for a while tonight, or something.  Aaargh, the dog is whining and the dishes need to be done.  Can anyone remind me why domestic help is so expensive in this country??????

What Happened when I turned 34 OR What Most People Don't Do

Take their two kids on a seaplane. 

Go away for their birthday with their children. 

Take their children to a fancy restaurant and order them the $30 pork chop, which they then refuse to eat. 

Stuff the restaurant bread in their face while they walk around the restaurant garden with a toddler saying "rocks." 

Rent bikes and a bike trailer to take a ride to the local park.  

Go through the local grocery store at night looking for candles, matches, and a "circle cake."  

Sing Happy Birthday while sitting on the floor in the hotel, while monitoring children and their sugar intake. 

Chase a toddler around the hotel indoor pool because you are afraid he will jump in and die at any moment. 

Wish that the Family Fun Center was open at 8am in the morning, when the energy is at an all time high.  

"Lose it" with their kids because of a forgotten key needed to enter the pool zone (not the kids fault). 

Travel to San Juan Island with children.